The Persistance of Rain
by mornir-brightflame
Summary: His skin was pale and flawless, emphasised by his fiery red hair, and his green eyes even more stunning close up, though they were slightly red from crying. 'Hate the damn rain,' he mumbled. Water never was Axel's element.
1. Subdued Fire

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

xxxxx

Billy sighed and cast his gaze around the parking lot. He was standing outside a supermarket, waiting for his mother to finish her shopping. He had chosen to stay outside. He hated shopping. It was raining, and it turned the world around him an emotionless grey. Billy shivered in the cold, and tugged at his red jacket that did little to keep out the cold. His black hair stuck up in spikes, from where he had run his hands through it in impatience.

Billy's violet eyes were drawn to the fiery mane of red hair that stood out amongst the dull grey of the parking lot. It belonged to man sitting on a bench, about ten metres away from where he was standing, out of the slight shelter the supermarket's overhanging roof provided. As his gaze traveled lower, he found himself captivated by the depth of emotion the man's tearful jade green eyes displayed.

He continued to stare, open mouthed at the man, the hood of his black jacket down despite the light rain. A smoking cigarette was lightly held in the fingers of his right hand, but had apparently been forgotten, and was sputtering in the rain. He was tall, and skinny almost to the point of looking anorexic. Billy also wondered at the two tear shaped tattoos underneath his eyes.

Billy jolted in shock as the man's eyes snapped towards him. Flushing furiously, embarrassed to be caught staring, Billy ducked his head, and studiously admired his tattered red converses. He leaned back against the wall of the supermarket that his mother was currently shopping in, and considered taking refuge inside. He tried to tell himself that he wasn't trying to find a way to hide from the raw emotion displayed in the man's eyes. It unsettled him that an adult, a grown man, would allow himself to cry in public, to set bare the sadness and desperation that raged inside him.

Hesitantly Billy raised his head. The redhead's eyes had left him, and he'd dropped his cigarette. He was now attempting to make his lighter work. Billy thought it was rather obvious that the lighter wouldn't light, seeing as the rain had begun to fall a little faster, but the man continued to flick the lighter, some desperation now leaking through into his actions. The man's hands began to shake, and the lighter fell. The redhead's eyes overflowed, and he buried his face in his hands, his fiery red locks spilling over, and hiding him from view. His thin shoulders shook, and Billy was distressed to see this interesting man so distraught. He wanted this man to be happy. He lightly pushed himself off the dirty, graphitized wall, and, carefully avoiding the large puddles that had begun to form on the sidewalk, walked over to where the man sat. Billy paused in front of him, and then, keeping his eyes on the man at all times, in case he tried anything, bent and picked up the lighter. He weighed it in his hand for a second, taking in it's faded blue colour, then dried it on his jacket. Steeling himself, he reached out and tapped the redhead's shoulder.

"Hey."

The man froze at his touch, and then slowly raised his head from his hands. His skin was pale and flawless; his green eyes even more stunning close up, though they were slightly red from crying.

"What?"

"You – you dropped this." Billy held out the lighter, suddenly regretting ever moving from his safe place against the wall. The man's tone was harsh and unfriendly, and had a certain roughness to it, as though he hadn't spoken in some time.

"Oh. Thanks, kid." The man's voice softened a little. He took the lighter and stuffed it in the pocket of his black jeans.

Billy nodded. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He was unsure of whether he should leave now, or stay and try to talk to the man. Unexpectedly, the redhead spoke.

"Why?"

"Wh-what?"

"Why'd you go pick it up for me? Why'd you come out in the rain to do something for a guy you don't even know?"

Billy was startled. He wasn't even sure himself. He bit his lip.

"I – I guess I just wanted to make you happy. You look so sad …"

The redhead nodded. "Axel." he suddenly said.

"Huh?"

"It's my name. Axel. Got it mem…" Axel's voice suddenly trailed off. "No," he muttered to himself. "That's gone now. He's gone." His intense gaze moved up to meet Billy's eyes. "You know, he always said that having a catchphrase made me sound like a retard." He laughed, but there was no happiness in the sound. It was bitter, and filled with painful memories.

"I'm sorry?" Billy asked in confusion.

"What's your name, kid?"

"I'm Billy,"

"Billy, huh." Axel suddenly stood up, unfolding his thin frame gracefully from the bench. He squinted up at the sky. "Hate the fucking rain," he mumbled. "See ya later, kid." Axel saluted him, and walked away.

Billy stared after him, brow furrowed in confusion. He felt as if he'd failed in something. The pain in Axel's eyes was still there, and it made Billy's heart ache to think that someone could be so sad.

"Axel, wait!" he called.

Axel turned. "Yeah?"

"It's Billy."

"What?"

"My name. Not kid. Billy."

"Sure thing, kid."

"Dickhead! It's Billy!"

Suddenly a grin lit up Axel's face. His face was one that had been made to smile. It brightened his face, and made his eyes shine. His two identical tattoos remained, however. A reminder of the depression that still lingered.

"Billy. Yeah. Later, Billy." Axel gave a wave and turned again. A matching grin had lit up Billy's face. He watched Axel walk away, watched as his dark clad figure, topped off with a stunning mass of red hair was swallowed by the grayness of the rainy day.

"Billy?"

A voice behind him made him jump.

"Oh. Mum. You done shopping?"

"Sure am, honey."

Billy nodded, and allowed reality to engulf him again. He wondered if he'd ever see Axel again, be given another chance to break him out of the aura of loss and sadness that wrapped around the red-haired man.

xxxxx

A/N- quite frankly, if you read this, I'm surprised you made it this far. Lol, just in case anyone actually does read this, Thanks! Review, if you can spare the time. There_ should _be a next chapter, or whatever, although, I'll probably come to my senses soon, delete the story, and never write again. Lol ..

Thanks for reading!


	2. MudSoaked Memories

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

xxxxx

Billy's feet were slightly unsteady on the slippery grass. It was raining again. He shivered slightly, pulling his red jacket in tighter around him. Just a few more kicks, he told himself. Then he'd begin the walk home, and go inside, out of the rain. The park, which was a few streets away from his house, was already becoming muddy he noticed, as he sloshed his way over to where his faded yellow football lay, covered in dirt. He sighed. It'd be so much more fun if he had a friend to kick it back to him. He bent over, and picked up the ball. Concentrating, he decided to aim for one of the trees scattered in disarray all over the oval. Unfortunately, he didn't notice the small dark figure that was leaning against the tree, perhaps taking refuge from the rain. Billy's foot, clad in his faded converses, connected with the football and sent it flying. He nodded with satisfaction. It was a good kick. Then the smug smirk fell from his face as he saw the figure leaning against the tree he was aiming for.

"Oh. Oh, heads up!" Billy shouted through the rain. He watched with dismay as his old yellow football arced slowly, as if in slow motion through the rain, and smacked the figure on the head.

"Ow! What the fuck?!" The figure cursed, and lost his balance, falling face first into the mud.

"Sorry!" Billy called. "I didn't see you …" He ran over to the tree, skidding to a halt in front of the figure, who he could now see was a man, perhaps in his late teens or early twenties. His black hood was drawn up over his head, covering his hair and face. He was of slender build, and rather short. Billy apologetically offered his hand, to help the stranger up.

"I'm really sorry…"

"Piss off," the man said angrily. "Haven't you done enough?" He picked himself up off the ground, and brushed down his black hoodie and jeans.

"Sorry…" Billy said again.

"Jesus, don't you say anything else?" The man snapped, throwing back his hood in irritation, revealing his face. He had delicate features, and wildly spiked blond hair. His face was smeared with mud from where he had fallen. Billy thought shyly that he was really pretty. But most stunning of all were his beautiful blue eyes. They were the deepest shade of blue Billy had ever seen. It was as if he could drown in the ocean those eyes provided …

The blue eyes he had been staring fixatedly at narrowed.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

Billy snapped out of his trance. "Uh… are you okay?"

The blond snorted. "I _was, _until you came along and fucking _attacked _me."

"I … it was an accident. All the rain … I could hardly see you."

The blonde's eyes suddenly gained a faraway, sad look. "He hates the rain," he murmured. The blue eyes looked perilously close to filling with tears.

"Yeah," said Billy. "I know."

"What?" The blonde's attention snapped back to the small, black-haired boy.

"Axel. He hates the rain." Billy suddenly smiled at the amazing coincidence. He had met the redhead only the day before, and suddenly, he seemed to have found one of Axel's friends.

"How the hell do you know Axel?" The man's voice was suddenly harsh, and filled with pain. Billy was astounded at how quickly he seemed to go from casually aggressive, to dangerously angered.

"I … I saw him yesterday …" Billy stuttered. He was suddenly desperate to leave. He dropped his eyes from the piercing blue pair, beginning to stoop to pick up his football. His violet eyes widened as a fist grabbed his collar, and wrenched his face back up.

"I'm _talking _to you, punk," the man snarled.

Billy whimpered. "You're hurting me …" he sniffed sadly. He had been wrong. This man could never be Axel's friend. Axel had been sad, sure, and this man was too, but Axel hadn't been angry. Axel hadn't hurt him. Axel wouldn't be friends with someone this mean. Billy let out a small mewl of pain, as the grip on his collar tightened. He was struggling to breathe.

Then the blue eyes widened, a tear spilled down the pale cheek. The blonde's fist unclenched and dropped from Billy's collar.

"Oh, _shit_. What the fuck is happening to me? I'm sorry, kid." The man's eyes slid closed as tears began to course down his cheeks. His hands fisted in his golden hair, and he slowly folded onto the ground. Billy was filled with sadness as he stared down at the beautiful, dishevelled man, kneeling in the mud. Billy hesitantly sank to his knees, his football lying forgotten a few metres away. He ignored the protest his freezing joints made as he forced them to bend. He ignored the dirty water he felt sinking into his jeans. He decided that it was his mission to help this man, just like he had tried to do with Axel. He'd failed there, but this time he'd do better.

"What's your name?" he asked softly.

The man looked up, blue eyes shining with tears. "Why are you still here?" he asked wearily, but there was no venom in his tone.

Billy shrugged, awaiting the answer to his question.

The man gave a shuddering sigh. "Roxas."

Billy nodded. "That's a nice name. I'm Billy." He waited, wondering if Roxas would fill the silence. He didn't. They sat quietly in the mud for a while, the rain coming down slightly harder. Both Billy and Roxas shivered. Soon they'd be completely soaked through. Billy tugged his red jacket around him as tight as it could go, and Roxas huddled himself deeper into his black hoodie.

Billy ventured a question. "Why are you so sad?"

Roxas gave a small, sad smile. "Bad things happen, kid. Not much you can do about it."

Billy scowled with irritation.

"What's that face for? It's a fact of life, kid."

Billy visibly flinched, and felt anger course through him. He suddenly felt hot, despite the icy rain. It's not like it was such a hard thing to remember. His hands balled into fists. "You … dickhead … what is it with you people?"

Roxas was confused. "Huh?"

"My name is Billy! My freaking name is Billy! I told you, didn't I? You hardly have the right to call me 'kid' anyway! At least Axel was about twice my height. You, you're almost as short as I am!"

Roxas grinned suddenly. "Don't call me short. You're lucky you're just a kid … Billy."

Billy was over his brief fit of anger almost as soon as it'd begun. He smiled radiantly. "Yeah. Roxas, why are you so sad? Don't just tell me bad things happen. What sort of excuse is that? You and Axel are friends, right?"

Roxas's smile fell from his face. "No. We're not friends." Billy continued to watch him steadily, and so he elaborated. "We _were_ friends."

"But you're not anymore?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're a nosy little shit? No? Well, you are."

"Axel was sad, too."

"Really? I can't imagine _why _that bastard would have any reason to be sad." Roxas said heatedly.

Billy wasn't afraid of Roxas's anger. He knew it wasn't directed at him. "Well, he was. He was crying."

"Must be something fucking up in his _new _life."

Roxas's words were dripping with bitterness. Billy was bewildered at the sudden passion evident in Roxas's words. "Did Axel do something wrong?" He asked. Axel had seemed like a pretty nice guy to him.

"No. He did what most people would do, in his situation." Roxas turned his face to the grey sky.

"What did you mean, about his 'new life?'" Billy asked, when he realised that Roxas wasn't going to continue.

"He left. I don't even know how you could have met him. Been to Hollow Bastion recently? That's where he _said _he was going. He might've been lying though. He wouldn't want any of us to be able to find him again."

"No, I haven't ever been to Hollow Bastion. I saw Axel at a supermarket."

Roxas became very still, his deep blue eyes filled with so many conflicting emotions Billy had to look away. "A supermarket?"

"Yeah."

"Does this supermarket have a name?" Roxas leaned against the tree he'd been standing against before he collapsed to the ground, as if searching for support.

"The Usual Spot. It has the best sea-salt ice-cream." Billy smiled dreamily to himself at the thought. Roxas also looked wistfully through the rain, though if it was at the thought of the heavenly ice cream, Billy wasn't sure.

"That bastard. It always was our favourite spot. That's where he told me the news that he was leaving, you know. He gave me a goodbye present, but I left it on the ground. As if I would keep it."

Billy was saddened at the thought that a present Axel gave out would be left unwanted on that dirty path, surrounded by careless rubbish. "What did he give you?"

"His favourite red lighter. Damn, he always loved that thing."

Billy felt a lump in his throat as he remembered the desperation with which Axel had tried to make the lighter produce flame. He wondered how Axel had found the lighter again, after Roxas had thrown it away.

"He found the lighter." Billy said, staring straight into the blonde's big blue eyes. He almost wanted this bitterly sad man to feel guilty for the pain he caused Axel. "It made him sad."

"You don't know _anything_," hissed Roxas. He was suddenly angry again, as if he'd realised what Billy was trying to do. "I'm not the bad guy. Axel is gone. He's not part of my life anymore. I'm not part of his. Love _doesn't _last forever, and I was a fucking idiot to think it would. Storytime's over, kid." Roxas gripped the trunk of the tree he was kneeling next to, and hoisted himself up. He grabbed Billy's coat and roughly tugged him up. "Leave. Go home."

"You should talk to Axel," Billy said, unperturbed by Roxas's anger. He brushed his red jacket down, removing as much mud as possible, and swiped his black fringe out of his eyes. "Then you both don't have to be sad anymore." He bent and picked up his faded, and now disgustingly filthy football. Roxas's eyes remained on him, impassive and enigmatic, the anger gone.

"Please find him. I don't want you or him to be sad." Billy scrubbed at his tearful eyes with the sleeve of his soaking wet jacket.

Roxas opened his mouth, and shut it again. Then he spoke, his voice filled with memories he would much rather forget. "I'll find Axel, and if he wants to talk, I'll talk."

Billy nodded. "Bye, Roxas."

"Later, Billy."

Billy turned and carefully sloshed his way through the mud. He sighed at the prospect of walking through the muddy park, and through the washed out, grey streets. He thought longingly of a hot bath that he knew would await him at home. On a whim, he turned back to look at Roxas. The man was staring at the sky again, watching the cloud covered heavens, as if searching for answers there.

"Hate the fucking rain," the blond muttered to himself. "Why is it _always _fucking raining?" Then he drew his black hood up over his head, cloaking his wildly spiked golden hair, and his beautiful eyes, that were the colour of the sky the rain clouds were hiding from view.

xxxxx

A/N- sorry about Billy … It's just, he was there, and I was there, and one thing led to another … I'm not sure … it all seemed a little … forced, to me. But what did _you _think? Anyone! Reviews and constructive criticism would be much appreciated.

Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed and added to alerts/favourites. I love you all … really, really I do.


	3. Incessant Chatter

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Axel groaned as a loud, blaring sound cut through his somewhat fitful sleep. That _fucking _alarm clock. He wasn't entirely sure why he'd set it, as it wasn't as if he had to _go _anywhere. This was his vacation, of a sort. Or so he tried to tell himself. He hadn't come back to find the boy with sky blue eyes who had meant so much to him. Not at all. He'd probably forgotten all about the redhead by now, anyway.

He flung out a thin, pale arm, muttering curses at the sound of rain pounding against his slightly concave window, and slammed his hand down on the offending black piece of machinery. Red lights screamed out at him from the box, informing him that it was 7:01am.

"Just a few more minutes," he mumbled to it irritably.

An hour later, even the faint sunlight drifting through the rain clouds had managed to penetrate the flimsy grey curtains covering his window. Axel groaned again, as he was woken for the second time that morning. He rubbed a hand over his angular face, and threw back the dirty blanket. He frowned in distaste at the cheap flower motif printed onto the fabric, and levered himself into a sitting position on the lumpy mattress. He flinched with disgust as his bare feet touched the carpet that was a little sticky, for some reason that Axel did really not want to know. Casting his gaze around the room, he sighed. A couple of cheap paintings decorated the lime green walls; a coffee table in the corner was covered with junk like empty beer cans and an overflowing ashtray. Forecast for today: Crap. Gritting his teeth, he stood and made his way into the bathroom that joined onto his cheap hotel room. He shivered as his feet came into contact with the icy cold tiles. He leaned his arms against the bathroom counter, then, taking in the stained brown colour of the surface, removed them and tucked them behind his head. Raising his radiant emerald eyes to the cracked mirror, he regarded his reflection.

His face was pale, even for him. That was probably due to the amount of crying he'd done yesterday. That definitely accounted for his slightly reddened and swollen eyes. His mouth was fixed into a grim line that looked as if it would never smile again. He was tall and skinny; just the same as yesterday, and his twin chakram necklace matched his hair- both were a fiery red colour. The necklace had been a gift from a certain blond-haired boy. Axel knew that he had saved up for weeks; months even, to afford to buy it for him. It was the only item he'd kept from his past, and he treasured it dearly. Axel ran a hand through his wild red locks. Reaching into the pocket of his boxers, he brought out a faded and broken red lighter. He rubbed a hand over its slightly roughened surface, and flicked it, trying vainly to light it. After several failed attempts, a tear leaked out of his green eyes. Axel immediately scrubbed it away furiously, and shoved the lighter back in his pocket.

"Enough." he muttered to himself. "Time to go meet an old friend." Axel laughed at how clichéd that sounded – like something from an old movie. He laughed in an attempt to dispel the anxiousness that coursed through his body at the thought of the reunion with someone from his past.

xxxxx

Demyx glared at Axel in uncharacteristic anger. He clenched and unclenched his fists, forcing himself to stay calm, or at the very least, not grow physically violent. People in the café gave them strange looks, but Demyx didn't give a shit.

"Fuck you, Axel."

The man with fiery red hair was fiddling with the sleeve of his black hoodie that, two days ago, had been soaked. His coffee was cold and untouched. Demyx didn't touch his food either. His once hot pumpkin soup had acquired a thin film over the top.

"Why did you come back?" Demyx's grey-blue eyes were narrowed, his normal cheerfulness absent.

Axel shifted uncomfortably. He was well aware of the glances they were receiving from the other customers in the small café. He thew his gaze around the room and shuddered at the painful pink colour of the walls, which clashed horribly with the blood red curtains spread across the window, thankfully concealing the rain outside from view. It made him uncomfortable to be the recipient of so many stares, and he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, refusing to meet the other's eyes. "I … I don't know …"

"Oh. Brilliant." Demyx laughed sarcastically, a mockery of his real laugh.

Axel glared at the other man, his jade green eyes angry. "I missed you. I missed everyone. I wanted to come back."

"Not for long though, huh? Once you've had enough of this dump, satisfied your peace of mind, you'll be off again, right?"

Axel didn't speak, and his anger faded. He couldn't get angry at Demyx. This was his fault, and he shouldn't take it out on his friend. Actually, he wasn't sure if he could call him a friend anymore. Demyx looked pretty pissed. Axel kept his eyes on his stagnant cup of coffee. Demyx gave a loud sniff. Axel looked up, horrified, to see the other man crying.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry Dem," he said sadly. "I didn't mean to upset you … I thought you'd be happy to see me."

Demyx gave a sob, attracting more stares from those seated around the pair. "As if I wouldn't be upset!" he exclaimed loudly, his sentence punctuated with sobs that he unsuccessfully tried to suppress. "You _left_. We had no problem with _that._ I mean, we all wished it was us leaving, sure, but we were happy for you. We were happy to see you happy." Demyx's voice grew cold, his sobs halting, though tears still ran steadily down his cheeks. "And then you told us, in no uncertain terms, that we would receive no address to contact you by, no email, nothing, because you wanted to forget everything about your past, leave it all behind, including us."

"I'm sorry…" Axel mumbled. "That was wrong of me … it's just … after Xigbar died …"

"And _then _you have the nerve to come backto the place you tried so hard to forget, and think that everything would be fine between us."

"I didn't think it would all be fine … I just wanted to see you …"

"Are you going to see Roxas?" Demyx's tears had subsided, and he hiccupped occasionally.

Axel flinched, green eyes returning to his coffee. "I…"

"He was never the same after you left. You were his best friend. Sometimes, I got the feeling he thought of you as more than a friend."

"He did." Axel said softly. Demyx's eyes widened as his longtime suspicion was confirmed. A grin started to form on his face, and his eyes lit up. Suddenly, Axel knew that Demyx had forgiven him.

"Did you feel the same way?" Demyx asked eagerly.

"Demyx, I left a year ago. I hardly even know the kid anymore." Axel nimbly dodged the minefield.

"Yeah- exactly a year ago from yesterday. Roxas knew."

"Huh?"

"I called him, to see if he wanted to come to the movies with me or something – Zex was out gambling with Luxord or something. I really wish he wouldn't gamble. It's such a terrible habit … So I called Roxas, and he could barely talk he was shivering so much. Apparently, he'd been sitting in some park in the mud, in the freezing rain! Can you believe it? He was always so sensible … completely unlike you. Anyway, I asked why he was sitting in the rain, and he mumbled your name and something about an anniversary. A one-year anniversary."

Axel didn't think that Roxas would have remembered. He certainly had. That year had been one of the worst of his life. He'd counted the days going by, waiting for something good to happen. It had been worse, even, than the years in the Community House he and Roxas and Demyx had lived in until Axel had been allowed to live by himself. He was a couple of years older than Roxas, and a year older than Demyx. Demyx would be living by himself now … apparently with Zexion.

"How is Roxas doing?" Axel was almost afraid to venture the question. He wasn't sure whether he wanted Roxas to be doing well and fine without him, or suffering.

Demyx's face fell slightly. "He's coping. He doesn't talk as much as he used to …"

"He didn't talk much before."

"Exactly."

Axel lapsed into silence again. He didn't know what to do. He hadn't anticipated this – this hostility he was receiving, although, in hindsight, he realized he probably should have. Thinking back to the day he left, he cringed in shame. He had treated his friends, who had always been there for him, abominably. Even Roxas. Especially Roxas. For the second time that day, his green eyes allowed a tear to leak down his cheek. "What do I do, Demyx?" he asked, turning to his younger friend for help.

Demyx stroked his mullet thoughtfully. "I can't help you in this, Axel. This is something you have to sort out with Roxas by yourselves. But I _can _tell you how to win Zexion over. There's this book that he's been wanting for _ages_, but it's pretty expensive – but hey, that's the price you have to pay for friendship, right?"

Axel gave a half-hearted grin, his mind still desperately trying to think of a way to make up and apologise for what he did to his best friend. "Thanks, Demyx." He tried to make it sound final, so that Demyx would shut up and allow him to lose himself in his brooding thoughts about Roxas in silence. Of course, Demyx couldn't take a hint.

"Of course, just buying the book wouldn't be enough. He's not really _that _much of a materialistic person that he would accept a book as an apology. Well, he'd definitely accept the book, but he'd still be pretty upset and mad. You'll have to give him a pretty sincere 'sorry'. Not like what you've said to me. That was pathetic. You're lucky I'm such a nice guy. I don't think you'll even need to apologise to Larxene, other than giving her a few beers or a really sharp new kitchen knife. She really likes those ones that they use to chop stuff up fast – you know the ones? They're pretty big, and are kinda curved, with handles on each end. She says they're really good both offensively and defensively... on second thoughts, maybe don't get her that knife … we don't want her in jail again …"

"Demyx …"

"Play a couple of games of poker with Luxord, lose spectacularly – don't make it obvious, mind you, he won't like that – and he'll be happy, I think. He's gotten a lot worse with that gambling … Saix and…"

Axel sighed, and admitted defeat. He continued to nod his head every 30 seconds or so, or at least when Demyx glared at him and demanded to know whether he was listening or not. Rain continued to fall outside, but even the sound of the element he so despised wasn't enough to rouse him from his sadly reflective mood. He drifted sorrowfully amongst his thoughts, thinking of a blond boy with ocean deep blue eyes.

xxxxx

A/N- it was great! I really didn't think that I'd get this done anytime this week, but we had English today, and I managed to write like half of it then, 'cause we had creative writing. This is creative, right? I won't go into my various criticisms of this chapter, because I realise that may get tiring. So … you can tell me instead! Thanks! (that was a subtle way to ask you to review, because reviews motivate me, and really make my day!) Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, too. You guys are awesome…


	4. Disturbed Dreams

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

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_The small blond teenager clutched his best friend's hand tightly, as if it was his lifeline, the only thing keeping him from drowning, the only thing keeping him from falling apart. He and Axel walked slowly along the cracked pavement, heading towards their spot, as they liked to think of it. A car rushed past them on the road, showering them with filthy brown water from the overflowing drains._

"_You know," said Axel to the blond, his voice hoarse with tears, "I hate the fucking rain."_

_The boy with blue eyes nodded silently, tears still running down his face._

Roxas observed the scene in a strangely dispassionate way, considering that it was himself that he was watching fall apart on the pavement. He felt slightly detached. The dark street, with its identical houses, and road with as many potholes as there were stars in the sky was as sharply in focus to him as the day that he lived this scene. As was the supermarket at the end of the road. The bench outside the shop was also the same. He felt a slight dread for what was to come. It was like knowing the ending of a movie that ends tragically. He watched the blond boy lift a hand to wipe the rain from his face. That vaguely struck a chord of irritation within him. Rain. Roxas shook off the sensation easily and returned his blue eyes to the scene unfolding below him, watching the blond boy whose eyes matched his own. The feeling of dread increased as he saw the redhead, green eyes heavily subdued with pain and grief, stop and turn to the blond beside him. By now, the pair had reached the bench, and were standing next to it.

"_Roxas," Axel looked down at the boy and placed his hands on his shoulders. "Roxas, I'm leaving."_

_The blond nodded. "Y-you are eighteen after all…" he said, finding it difficult to speak through his tears. _

_Axel nodded. "Yeah … here – I want you to have this." He delved into his pocket, and after much searching around, came out with his favourite red lighter. "Take it."_

"_B-but that's your favourite lighter," the blond boy said, awed through his tears._

"_Yeah, but I want you to have it. A goodbye present, I guess."_

"_M-maybe I can come a-and visit you in your new h-home." His voice broke on the last word._

_Axel looked away from the penetrating blue eyes uncomfortably. "I'd prefer it if you didn't," he said softly, but firmly._

_Wide blue eyes regarded him with hurt and shock._

_The redhead sighed. "I want to make my own life now, Roxas. I don't want … I don't want my past holding me back." He waited for the blond to say something, preferably something understanding and supportive._

_The boy said nothing. He stared up at his best friend, unstoppable tears flowing down his cheeks._

Roxas screwed up his face in pain. He remembered this bit. He closed his eyes, to try and block out what was happening, but the scene continued on behind closed eyelids. "I don't want to see it!" he shouted, but his plea went unheard. He froze as Axel spoke again to his self from a year ago.

"_I'm sorry. I think it'd be best if we just forgot each other." Axel moved his arms, pulling the other boy into a hug. The blond suddenly came to life, shoving Axel's hands off him._

"_How __**dare **__you touch me? You fucking bastard." He snarled with venom, the effect slightly ruined by the shaking of his teary voice._

_Axel still got the message. He dropped his arms to his side. "Roxas … don't let it end like this. Please. Don't make it harder for the both of us."_

_The boy with blue eyes began to shake, whether it was from the icy rain, or the emotions he was desperately trying to suppress. "You're going to leave? Just like that? You selfish fucking bastard."_

"_Roxas … don't think that this was an easy decision to make. But do you honestly think that I want to be tied down all my life by the memory of __**this**__? This shithole? I've suffered too much here … the abuse, the pain, Xigbar," Axel's voice broke when he spoke his friend's name, "We just went to his fucking funeral, Roxas. Why the fuck would I want to remember this?"_

"_What about me?" The boy's voice was lost. He was shaking his head, as if still trying to understand what was happening._

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I don't want your fucking apologies! You said you loved me. Was that a lie?"_

_Axel hesitated._

Roxas watched, tears now pouring down his cheeks, now feeling well and truly attached to the situation. How could he not? He wondered about the hesitation the redhead displayed, and the way Axel's jade green eyes had slid to the side, avoiding his accusing gaze. Had he lied? Or had he merely been guilty for deceiving his friend?

"_I lied, Roxas. I just wanted you to be happy, to think that at least __**someone **__loved you, in this pathetic shit of a life." Though the blond boy he was speaking to at the time, or the one watching the scene in hopeless tears didn't know it, Axel's entire being shied away from the terrible lie. He longed to comfort the boy, to tell him the truth, to hold him and never let him go. But he couldn't. Axel shut those feelings away. He was going to make something of his life, and he wouldn't get there by allowing sentimental feelings to get in the way. He gritted his teeth as his heart, and his blue-eyed companion's heart broke. He watched silently, expressionlessly as the blond grabbed at his arms, begging him to stay, voice completely broken with bewildered pain and desperation._

"_No, Axel, please!" The boy was sobbing, hair in disarray, clothes soaking and dishevelled._

_Axel steeled his fragmented heart and pulled his arms away from the sobbing boy. "Get off me, Roxas."_

"_Axel! Please … I'll do anything … just stay!"_

"_No. Get off me. Goodbye, Roxas." Axel said, forcing his voice to an icy coldness. He fought back the sobs that threatened to break through. He shoved the blond off him, wincing internally as the boy fell hard onto the cold, wet ground bruising and grazing his knees and delicate palms. __**I'm so sorry, Roxas.**__ He stared at the boy for a few seconds, memorizing every inch of his beautiful face – his ocean blue-eyes, pale skin, smooth as silk and his wildly spiked blond hair. He then locked the memory away in his mind, determined that he would open that corner of his mind again. This part of his life was gone now, and was best forgotten. Every last detail, good or bad, must never resurface in his mind._

_He turned and began to walk away, forcing himself not to turn when the blond cried out his name again, voice cracking with despair and hopelessness. He forced himself not to run to his best friend when he gave up calling his name, and slumped on the ground, the very image of bleak defeat. Only once he was sure the blond would see did he allow the tears to come, did he allow his shoulders to shake with the sobs that he'd tried so hard to suppress._

Roxas watched his best friend walk away again, and he saw himself hold out the red lighter, and throw it onto the ground. He watched it bounce, as if in slow motion, and saw it land underneath the bench. He was as plagued by unbelievable pain and sadness as he was each time the vision visited him in the night.

xxxxx

Roxas tucked his hands into his pockets and lowered his head against the cold wind. His rainbow umbrella was facing the rain, and only some of the water managed to fling itself onto his face. His face was etched with a scowl, and there were dark rings underneath his haunted blue eyes. His black hood was pulled up around his head, concealing the wild disarray of spikes that hadn't seen a comb that morning. His brisk walk slowed as a supermarket came into his view. The building brought up many emotions, some happy but most were painful. Looking up, he read the faded sign. 'The Usual Spot' was proclaimed in bold red letters. He sighed sadly. Casting his gaze around the half empty car park he realised how he had missed the place. It always did have the best sea-salt ice cream.

He glanced at the old bench he and Axel used to sit on, standing bravely against the rain and wind, just like it always had. Walking over to it, he stretched out a hand. It halted a few centimetres away from the old wood. Roxas's face was contorted into a grimace of uncertainty. Did he really want this? Did he want to remember? Taking a deep breath, Roxas sat on the bench gingerly, shuddering as water soaked into his pants. How long had it been since he'd sat on this bench? On an impulse, he folded up his brightly coloured umbrella, and placed it on the ground. He embraced the rain, and allowed it to soak into his dark clothing. He knew that Axel would have been disgusted with him. He could almost imagine the redhead sitting beside him and informing him of how much he 'hates the fucking rain'. He realised that Axel would have been sitting pretty much in the same spot as he was a few days ago, if he was able to find the lighter Roxas had left under the bench. His fists clenched as he thought of his lost best friend. Painfully, he forced them to relax, remembering that he had to talk to the bastard. It wouldn't help if he were all fired up with rage and bitterness over what Axel had done. There was a matter of finding the man though …

"Roxas!"

Roxas looked up. A little boy with black hair and violet eyes was standing at the door to the supermarket.

"Roxas! Hey!"

Roxas fought and failed to suppress a grin at the sight of the boy. He raised his hand in a wave. The boy grinned radiantly at Roxas's acknowledgment and bounced through the rain to stand in front of him.

"You looking for Axel?" he asked cheerfully.

Roxas froze. It disturbed him, how easy it was for this little kid to see through him. How did he _know?_ Hesitantly, he answered. "…Yeah."

Billy's grin grew even wider. "I knew you would!" he said. "But why are you crying?"

Roxas hadn't realised that the tears in his eyes had spilled over. He scrubbed a sleeve over his eyes. "I … I had a bad dream."

Billly nodded seriously. "I get that a lot, too." The boy looked as if he was about to say something else, but a hand descended onto his shoulder, making him jump. Roxas leapt up, ready to protect the kid if necessary, but Billy's face relaxed into a smile as he spun around. "Oh, mum. You're done shopping?"

His mother didn't answer. She was glaring at Roxas forcefully, intimidated by his black clothing, and the hood drawn up over his hair. He met her violet stare with his ocean blue one calmly. "See you, Billy." he said, without moving his eyes from Billy's mother's face.

Billy grinned, and was blissfully unaware of tense atmosphere. "Come on, mum! I'm getting wet." He grabbed his mother's arm and towed her away from Roxas. "Bye, Roxas! Don't forget to find Axel!"

Roxas sighed and shook his head at the boy. He pushed back his hood and ran a hand through his blond spikes. He started as his phone rang. He looked at the ringing object. 'Unknown Caller' was displayed on the small screen. He flipped his phone open, and held it to his ear. "Hello? Roxas here." He frowned. "Hello?"

"Roxas." The voice was deep and smooth. Roxas could have listened to it all day. It struck a chord of memory within him. Suddenly he recognised the voice.

Roxas flinched violently and dropped the phone. It fell to the ground, and the sound of its impact seemed to echo in Roxas's ears, as did the voice of the man who dominated his thoughts. Why the fuck was Axel calling him?

xxxxx

A/N- Okay … so the writer's block hits only three chapters into the story. I usually wouldn't revert to the dream cliché, or end with such a terrible cliffhanger, but I find that these things might help me. To, you know, write. I _might _redo the chapter, if anyone thinks it's too unbearable. And seriously, if you think it is, please don't think you'll offend me by saying so in a review. (please review? if possible?) . It's always welcomed – criticism that is. Thanks to all who've reviewed so far, as well. It's really made me happy … Thanks for reading!


	5. Explosion of Green

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

xxxxx

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Axel hissed as he thrust his phone away from him. It slid off the bed and fell with a thud onto the filthy carpet. Every muscle in his body was tense, and he fisted his hands in the long spikes of his red hair. "What the _fuck _is wrong with me?" he asked, speaking to no one in particular. He glared wildly around his small hotel room, his best friend's voice replaying in his head over and over, like a broken record. Slowly, his body relaxed. His heart ached with the sting of rejection. He felt tears moisten his eyes, and groaned. Why was he spending all of his time fucking crying? _Stop being a girl,_ he told himself angrily. Axel let out a bitter laugh. If this small occurrence – Roxas hanging up on him – could make him feel so fucking bad, how crap must Roxas have felt when Axel said that he was never to contact him again?

Axel already knew he'd screwed up last year, but now he suddenly realised just how badly he'd behaved, and how much he must have hurt Roxas. Only when he'd experienced the pain for himself did he manage to appreciate just how Roxas must've felt.

Nodding to himself, Axel decided that he would do all he could to make it up to Roxas. After living through a year without his best friend – and, he admitted to himself, the only person he'd ever really loved – he knew that couldn't manage life without him. He _needed_ Roxas. Axel's life had been empty. He'd been amazingly successful, seeing as he'd just come out of a shitty Community Home for Parentless Children. Starting a coffee shop had been a stroke of brilliance. After just a few months of business, a rich businessman had decided that he did not, in fact, own enough companies, and had bought Axel's small business for a large sum of money. But no matter how many materialistic items Axel had bought, nothing had seemed to fill the void of emptiness inside him. He needed his friends, who had understood him, and suffered alongside him, thus his return to his hometown.

Burying his head in his hands, he realised he had no idea how to even talk to Roxas, let alone apologise. Even if it had only been a year, Roxas had probably changed a lot, as Demyx had hinted at. Axel knew that Roxas wouldn't be as forgiving as Demyx. It wasn't humanely possible. But Axel was going to try. This was one thing he would _not _run away from.

xxxxx

Axel berated himself for his cowardice, for the way he had avoided the 'Roxas issue'. With the book tucked safely under his arm, he stepped off the bus, and onto the clean, white pavement. Looking down at the scrap of paper, with the address Demyx had scribbled out for him, he cursed himself. An inner voice mocked him, for running away from his problems, yet again. Another internal voice argued back – he needed to talk to Zexion, too. He wasn't shying away from talking to Roxas … he was just … postponing things. Shaking his head, he decided to stop arguing with himself.

According to the bus driver, the street he wanted was a few blocks away. He began his walk. He was relieved that it wasn't pouring down with rain like it had been the past few days. Glancing up at the sky, he noted the grey clouds, and quickened his steps. Turning into what he was fairly sure was the right street, Axel surveyed the pretty, but slightly dilapidated houses critically. The gardens were filled with bright flowers, and the houses were painted in colours like sky blue, baby pink and a light purple. Sure, he could imagine Demyx living here, but Zexion? No. Axel backtracked his steps, to the beginning of the street. He checked the name – Oblivion Way, and shrugged. It was the right street. Walking back along the street, he halted outside number 69. He smiled to himself. The garden was a jungle, with overgrown grass, many small trees in various stages of growth and plenty of unpruned bushes. There was a giant mulberry tree, its twisted limbs shadowing a small bench. In the corner, making a mockery of the wild growth of the majority of the garden was a small, neat flowerbed. It shone out amongst the vibrant green with a vivacious array of sweetpeas, snapdragons and daisies. The explosion of flora was barely contained by a collapsing white picket fence that was held up by ropes tied to the various plants within the garden. Axel carefully pushed open the gate, stopping immediately as the fence tilted alarmingly when he had it halfway opened. Thanking his anorexic-like thinness, he squeezed through the gap. He stood inside the gate, and stared at the wild mass of garden, feeling slightly intimidated. The house, which was covered in flowering vines, was barely visible. He spotted a path that wound through the wilderness and, gritting his teeth, he stepped forward. "Trust Demyx," he muttered, as he walked into a tree branch he hadn't noticed. Rubbing his face, he sighed with relief as the front porch came into view. He tripped up the uneven steps, cursing all the way, and finally staggered to a halt outside the door. He looked back at the ominous mass of greenery and smirked at it in triumph, saluting it mockingly. "I win," he said happily. Casting his gaze around the porch, taking in its comfortable aura, he sighed with contentment. Momentarily forgetting about what he was there to do, he walked over to the swinging seat sitting on the old wooden boards. He gave it a push, wincing at the loud creaking noise it made.

"Axel?"

He whipped around at the sound of a voice. His grin slipped from his face instantly.

"Zexion."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Zexion's normally calm, collected voice was slightly high pitched with shock, and his words were lacking their usual eloquence.

Axel took a deep breath, struggling to remember the speech he'd rehearsed on the bus ride there. "I … I came to apologise."

"Fascinating," Zexion said coldly. His visible purple eye scrutinised him enigmatically, the other eye hidden by his slate-coloured hair.

Axel shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Zexion … last year … I said some things I really regret and … and I want to …" he stuttered abominably, cringing internally as he failed to express himself.

Zexion had watched his stuttering with a detached amusement. "Very well. Come. We'll talk inside." he turned on the heel of his slim black boots, and swept elegantly inside, his black coat flaring out behind him. Axel stared after him in awe. He wondered where Zexion had got such a great coat … then, shaking his head, he followed quickly. As soon as he stepped inside the house, he was assaulted by the smell of freshly baked cookies. The house had a definite 'homely' feel to it, and Axel loved every inch of the building at first sight. The walls were each painted a different colour, and they were hung with many paintings, stunningly drawn. Zexion had stopped to watch him. Axel smiled hesitantly at Zexion, but no answering smile was given.

"The kitchen is through there," Zexion stated indifferently, waving his hand in the direction of one of the doorways. "Demyx made cookies a while ago … he rather enjoys cooking. He isn't here at the moment."

Axel nodded. He followed as Zexion strode through into another room. Axel grinned to himself as he saw the numerous bookshelves that covered the walls, and part of the room. One wall was dedicated to a massive floor length window. Demyx's sitar was leaning against the coffee table in the middle of the room, and there were many scribbled sheets of music scattered across the surface of the table. Zexion gestured stiffly to one of the four armchairs that were sitting around the coffee table. Axel took a seat, and Zexion did the same.

Axel remembered the book he was clutching in his long arms. He held it out to Zexion. "It's not a peace offering or anything," he began, but at Zexion's raised eyebrow, he relented, "Okay, maybe it is a peace offering. Just hear me out, okay?"

Zexion nodded. "Of course. May I ask … what book is that?"

Axel grinned at him. "_Emotion_, by William Lyons."

Zexion's purple eye widened, and his mouth opened slightly. "Where … where did you get it? I've been searching for it for so long …" Involuntarily, his hands inched towards the book.

Axel's grin, if possible, grew bigger. He tapped his nose, "I have my methods," he said knowingly. "Here," he handed the book to Zexion, who looked as if he was going to cry from happiness. "I never really figured you to be one to read about emotions, of all things."

Zexion glanced up from the book. "Oh, you were very wrong, Axel. In fact, I find the study of emotions to be a very fascinating subject. Lately, I've been very interested in studies of the 'heart', so to speak. Love, hate – all are very controversial topics to study, and I find the arguments very enthralling."

Axel nodded sagely.

Zexion's gaze suddenly became penetrating. "Take the emotion of guilt, for example. A very interesting emotion – even more fascinating are the reactions it can provoke. Or," Axel shifted uncomfortably under Zexion's stare, "the emotional state of loneliness. An inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation and alienation."

"Stop!" Axel's voice snapped out like a whip. "Please…" he whispered.

Zexion said nothing, but continued to gaze at Axel, waiting.

"It was the biggest fucking mistake of my life, leaving like that." Axel shuddered slightly. He had never dreamed of telling anyone this. He refused to meet the other man's eye, instead stared at his hands, which were twisting together anxiously. "I was so messed up about Xigbar. I wanted out. I needed to get away. I didn't know that that was only temporary. I was so eager to leave the shithole that we lived in that I didn't stop to think. A few weeks after I'd left, I realised that this place wasn't such a shithole – it was home." A tear escaped Axel's green eye, and slipped down his cheek, passing over the tear-shaped tattoo.

Zexion blinked. "I noticed your tattoos earlier, but it slipped my mind to ask of them. Why did you get them?"

Axel snorted. "It's a bit pathetic, really. Second week into my new and fabulous life, I couldn't seem to stop crying. So, I decided I'd get these –" he indicated the twin tattoos, "– done. They look like tears, right? So, as long as I have these, I don't really need to actually cry. Or that was the idea. It worked fine for a year, but as soon as I came back here …"

Nodding, Zexion said, "Illogical and irrational, but please, do continue."

"I tried my best to forget about everyone here. I thought that you must've moved on, so I should too. I opened a pretty successful coffee shop, was fucking expensive to start, but I got the money back pretty quickly, after a few months. Then some rich bastard bought it off me, and I've been working odd jobs – pizza man, fireman – you know how it goes."

"I see. And Roxas?"

"What about Roxas?"

"Have you spoken to him? Have you even seen him?"

Axel was reminded eerily of Demyx. Both him and Zexion had inevitably and painfully questioned him about the boy.

"I called him today."

Disapproval showed in every inch of Zexion's body. "You called him. Did you not think it would be better to speak to him face to face?"

"Of course … but I didn't know where to find him."

"I suppose," Zexion said reluctantly, "What happened?"

"He hung up."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"His reaction was perfectly justified. I'm sure Demyx has told you about Roxas."

"A bit, yeah."

"He withdrew into himself, and didn't talk to anyone for days, weeks even. We all tried, each in our own way, of course, to talk to him. He told us, in very colourful language, to leave him alone."

"I don't think I want to …"

"You don't want to hear? Roxas sank into sadness, depression." Zexion sighed, "He cut himself, once or twice, and then Luxord found out. He and Demyx soon put a stop to that."

Axel buried his head in his hands. "Jesus, what have I done?"

"A lot of damage, admittedly. But it's not irreversible. Roxas still loves you very much. It'll take time, but don't give up on him, Axel. He never really gave up on you. He'd check the mail every morning, hoping for some word from you." Zexion's voice wavered suddenly. "I … I couldn't stand it, seeing him like that. Remembering how he used to be … you have to help him, Axel. He's not the same. Talk to him, call him, whatever, I don't care. Make him _feel _something real, Axel."

Axel felt tears prick his eyes, but for once he didn't wipe them away. This time, there'd be no running. He wouldn't postpone this anymore, wouldn't hide from it. "Zexion?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"No, thank _you_." At Axel's questioning look, Zexion elaborated. "I'm thanking you in advance for helping Roxas. I know you will. I have faith in you, despite all your fucking stupid mistakes."

xxxxx

A/N- sorry this took so long to churn out. I'm not sure if this was in similar style to the other chapters – like, I don't think I focused enough on describing stuff, but I wanted to get the thing with Zexion done tonight, because really, it's been two days, and that's quite a long time. (gulps) I've never really … understood Zexion's character, but I gave it my best shot. That's all that matters, right? (coughs)

Thanks for reading! And thanks to all the reviewers, again, because some of the reviews you guys give are so totally definitely amazingly awesome! Thankyou!!

P.S – sorry about all the typos in last chapter .. I was reading through, and I was absolutely appalled. I'll try to up the standard, honestly I will.


	6. Rainwashed Reunion

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

xxxxx

Roxas looked forlornly around his room, at the posters plastered on the walls, his bookcase, crammed full of his favourite books and heaps of other junk too. He looked at his window, with the numerous sun catchers hanging above it, and sniffed disdainfully at the rain outside. His phone was lying next to him on the bed, its sleek black colour contrasting sharply with the bright red colour of his blankets. Scowling to himself, he wasn't sure whether he wanted the phone to ring again or not. He'd kept it with him at all times since it rang yesterday, just in case Axel tried to call again. If he did, Roxas would give that bastard a piece of his mind, that's for sure. He wouldn't let that man mess around with his heart anymore.

He leapt up as the phone suddenly emitted a blaring noise and vibrated, and then his heart sank ridiculously. It was just his alarm, faithfully set to wake him up at 7:15am exactly.

"Fuck this," Roxas muttered. He couldn't take much more of this tension that was slowly building up inside him. Every little sound would make his heart leap, and cause butterflies to assault his stomach. He picked up his phone, and navigated his way to his list of contacts. Top of the list was Axel. His finger hovered over the green call button. He was torn with indecision. Why was he the one calling him, anyway? He'd done nothing wrong! It was Axel's responsibility, not his. His finger travelled downwards, pressing the button, dialling Axel's number.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," Roxas cursed. "Oh, sweet fucking Mary Mother of God." He prayed fervently that Axel wouldn't pick up, or at least half of him did. The other half … Roxas shoved that thought down. He _wasn't _desperate to speak to him, to hear his voice. He definitely did _not _want to see him. He was about to hang up, quickly, before the redhead answered, but then the face of a small boy, with a long black fringe and purple eyes sprung into his head. Roxas groaned in an agony of uncertainty. Then, his decision was made for him.

"Roxas?"

The blond was silent. He listened eagerly to the sound of the redhead's voice, admiring its smooth, melodious tone. He couldn't wait until he spoke again. The feeling that rose up inside him as Axel spoke his name was wonderful. It filled him with a bubbly sensation, that – _what? No!_ Roxas furiously shoved his treacherous feelings emanating from his broken heart aside. Despite his struggles, he was unable to stop his heart from singing or the corners of his lips from lifting as the redhead spoke his name again.

"Roxas? You there?"

The hesitation and pain in the man's voice hurt Roxas. He was angry with himself for allowing the bastard to do this to him, even after the year of hate and bitterness he had suffered through.

"Axel."

It was enough. His mouth caressed the redhead's name, and the word left him with a feeling of joy and wellbeing. He didn't need to say anymore. He could hear the redhead's sharp intake of breath from the other line, and his smile widened fractionally as Axel cursed quietly to himself.

"… _fuck, fuck, fuck, come on, you can do this, you son of a bitch. This is __**Roxas**__. Remember what Zexion said … don't screw this up … pull it together …"_

Roxas waited patiently. Axel finally seemed to pull himself together.

"Okay – Roxas? You still there?"

"Yes."

On the other line, Axel winced at Roxas' cold voice. Well, he did deserve it, didn't he?

"Good. Jesus, don't hang up on me again, okay? I'm at the Usual Spot. I …" Axel's voice faltered. "The phone isn't the right way to do this, is it? Look, even if you've already cursed me to the deepest pits of hell, I want – I _need _to talk to you. I'll wait here for two hours or so. If you don't come … well … I won't bother you again."

Roxas hung up.

xxxxx

_I really didn't have much of choice, _Roxas thought to himself as he walked with ever slowing footsteps towards his old favourite haunt. He had chosen to leave his rainbow umbrella behind today, despite the rain, as he thought it might give Axel the wrong impression. He was not happy and bubbly, like the umbrella may suggest. So he had stuck to his usual black hoodie, and faded grey jeans. He was already slightly regretting not bringing his umbrella, or at least a raincoat. The rain was pretty heavy, and he wrapped his arms around his body in an attempt to retain some warmth. Loosening one arm, he tugged his hood further over his face to save his blond spikes from the dampening, misty precipitation. The rain had turned everything grey, and Roxas struggled to see more than ten metres in each direction. He flinched as a set of glaring headlights came speeding up to him, and then laughed at his foolishness. Scared of a freaking innocent car. Right. His thoughts darted quickly from one thing to the next – cars, to Demyx, Luxord, trees, medieval times, Zexion, paint and finally to red. Red hair. Oh, _fuck_.

"I can't do this," Roxas muttered, slightly panicked. He was gripped by the peculiar sensation of wanting to go two different ways at once. He stopped, and took a step backwards. Then he shook his head and went forwards. Backwards, forwards, he knew he looked ridiculous. Roxas closed his eyes, gripping his head in an attempt to stop the pain and confusion that surged through him.

Axel. Did he want to talk to him? Did he want him in his life again? Or would he rather it if his life went on as it had for the past year?

"Fuck no," Roxas mumbled. He slowly, tentatively removed his hands from his head, releasing his fistfuls of blond hair. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and continued walking at the fast pace he had first started out with. He realised his two hours were almost up, so long had he taken to complete the walk. This thought spurred him to walk faster, and he broke into a slight shuffling jog.

xxxxx

He wasn't going to come. Axel pulled out his black phone and stared at the time again. Two hours were almost up. If Roxas were going to come, he probably would have been here by now. He twirled his rainbow coloured umbrella slowly. He'd brought it to protect his wild spikes of hair. His hood definitely wouldn't manage to fit itself over the top of them. He felt no anger at his friend's rejection. This was his own fault, anyway. Not everyone deserved second chances. He was filled with a philosophic sadness at the thought of his life without Roxas, and calmly accepted that he might just not go back to his new life. He didn't think he could bear another _day _in that place, let alone the rest of his life. Starting again wasn't an option either, considering how well it went last time. For the first time in his life, Axel contemplated ways in which he could cause himself to cease to exist.

Sighing, he shook his head. There was time for that later. Now, he needed to go back to his dingy hotel room and lose himself in oblivion of drunkenness.

He began to walk away, then turned and looked back at the supermarket, bright against the grey blur of rain. The little bench stood forlorn yet steadfast. Axel turned his back and stepped away from the shop. He walked across the almost empty car park, the few cars that that actually occupied the space looking alienated and alone. A tear slid down his cheek, then another. The bright colours of his umbrella caught his eye, and with a feeling of revulsion at the happiness it represented, he snapped it down, dropping onto the ground, allowing the misty rain to fall on him.

_Wash it all away._

"Axel! Axel, wait!"

Axel's footsteps stuttered to a stop. He felt a hand clutch at his arm, clad in his customary black hoodie. The hand was small, but surprisingly strong, as was the arm that wrenched him around.

"I fucking came. You can't just _leave_." a voice hissed. Axel slowly, slowly appraised the face before him. Pale, delicate features, emotionless but for a small, well shaped mouth currently pressed into a thin, angry line. A black hood covered his hair, but fell back as the boy shook him, revealing soft blond spikes. Axel's emerald green eyes found blue. Deep, cerulean blue eyes, currently flashing with too many emotions to decipher.

"Roxas."

xxxxx

Roxas arrived at the supermarket, and searched desperately for a tall, redheaded figure. He saw nothing. Casting his gaze around anxiously, his eyes caught a splash of red walking away. Without pausing to think, he took off after the fiery colour through the stifling greyness. Roxas was already panting slightly from his jog to the supermarket, and he was finding it difficult to breathe in the thick air.

"Axel! Axel, wait!" he gasped. The redhead stopped instantly. Roxas caught up to him, grabbing his arm tightly for support. To disguise his weakness, he pulled the redhead hard around to face him, his relief at stopping the redhead quickly transforming into anger.

"I fucking came. You can't just _leave_." he hissed. The redhead slowly turned, and Roxas' breath caught in his throat. His indigo blue eyes roamed over Axel's features, which he hadn't seen for a year. His face was as pale and angular as ever, and his slightly damp spikes of fiery red hair contrasted sharply with the starkness of his skin. On his cheeks were two black marks that hadn't been there a year ago. They were two identical teardrops, etched into the skin. Roxas wondered when he'd got them. Then rage coursed through him at the realisation that he probably knew _nothing _about the redhead anymore. A person can change a lot in a year, especially under the circumstances Axel had been in. He clenched his teeth and shook the redhead as hard as he could. He felt his hood fall back but he didn't pull it back, ignoring it. He valiantly held himself together, schooling his features to his customary blankness, concealing his anger, hurt, relief, sadness and … joy? Roxas wasn't sure how long he'd be able to hide his emotions, and was unsure of which would be the most dominant when they finally broke free. He glanced up, into Axel's eyes, pools of green.

"Roxas."

Roxas kept his mouth shut, but continued to stare into Axel's eyes, refusing to break contact. His fingers tightened, then fell away from Axel's arm.

"You came."

"No freaking duh," Roxas snapped. He instantly regretted his comment, irritated by the quick grin that flashed across Axel's face. How _dare _he be happy?

"I … I won't bother you with my sob story," Axel began hesitantly, his gaze never wavering from Roxas' face. "You've probably had just as bad, or worse a year than I have." He studied Roxas' features, searching for a reaction, but finding nothing. He swallowed hard and continued. "I will say, though, that it was the worst year of my life."

Roxas snorted, barely managed to prevent the pain and disbelief from flashing across his features. "Yeah, _right._ Says the bastard who's been living in Hollow Bastion. Worst fucking year? You've got to be fucking joking."

Axel flinched slightly at the bitterness in Roxas' voice. "No, I'm not fucking joking." he said passionately, "It was fucking _hell_, without you."

"Don't." Roxas' voice had acquired a coldness that belonged someplace very far south – Antarctica south. "Don't you fucking come back and talk shit like that. As much as I fucking hate to say it, you broke my heart last year. And apparently, you didn't fucking do it thoroughly enough, so you're back to stomp on the pieces?!"

"No, Roxas, you've got it all wrong –" Axel looked stricken at the conclusion Roxas had jumped to.

Roxas was managing to uphold his lack of expression, but was horrified when he felt a tear slide down his cheek. Refusing to give Axel the satisfaction of seeing him wipe it away, he lifted his chin defiantly.

"Right." he said, putting all his doubt and hurt into the word.

Axel's expression was one of intense regret, and his eyes widened when he noticed the tear running down Roxas' face. "Roxas, my life was _empty_. My life was nothing without everyone – especially without you. I can't live without you."

Roxas' eyes narrowed. "Don't fuck with me, Axel!" he screamed.

"Fuck you, I'm not! Roxas, please, understand this." Axel shouted back.

"You seemed pretty fucking sure that you could manage without us last year. Didn't want _anything _to do with us. Never wanted to see any of us again. Man, this must be so hard for you, coming back to this _shithole_. Do you think you can handle seeing me again? Seeing my pathetic _shit _of a life?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing! For both you and me. I was always a bad influence on you – I smoked, drank … not things that a kid like you should have been introduced to."

"You didn't even give a fuck about me! You did the right thing for _you_! Smoking, drinking, I would've experience it all anyway, living where we did. And I wasn't a kid!"

Axel and Roxas were standing a metre apart, fists clenched, eyes blazing – both cerulean blue and jade green. The rain was slightly heavier now, reflecting their emotions. Tears were falling fast down Roxas' face, and Axel was struggling with himself to contain his own tears.. Their raised voices echoed through the heavy blanket of silence.

"You were _sixteen,_ Roxas. I didn't just do it for myself – everything I ever did, I did for you as well."

"Yeah, and look how well it all fucking turned out! You thought I'd just forget?"

"I _hoped _you would! Then, at least one of us could've been happy!"

"Why? _Why? _What the fuck made you think that this would be good for anyone?"

"Who the fuck knows? I was so fucked up after Xigbar's death. I didn't _want _to leave. But I did."

"Why?"

All the fight suddenly went out of Axel. His thin shoulders slumped tiredly, and he unclenched his fists. He rubbed a weary hand over his dripping face – wet from both the rain and the tears he'd been unable to contain.

"I love you," he whispered. "The only reason I ever did anything … you were the only reason I was able to get up in the morning, in a place where we had basically no fucking future. All I wanted was just to see you smile, to see you laugh, to see you _happy_. Then you were sad for a long time, and I thought it was my fault. What other reason could there be? Then Xigbar died. You were so miserable I couldn't bear it. So I left. I thought … I thought that you could finally be happy if I was gone."

Axel turned away. "I came back because I thought I might have a chance with you again. I can see now that I was seriously fucked up to even think that. I'm just … thankful that I got to see you one last time." Axel bowed his head, drew his hood up over his now soaking and deflated spikes of red hair, and began to walk away.

Roxas stood still, frozen in place. His mind slowly processed Axel's words. Then it hit him.

"A-Axel! Wait!" he called for the second time that evening. He began to run after the redhead's retreating figure, stumbling slightly in his haste. Despite his lack of ability in the art of running, he managed to stagger up to the redhead. Tears coursing down his face, he wrapped his arms around the sodden figure from behind. He felt Axel stiffen in shock.

"Roxas? What … what are you doing?" Axel's voice, a contrast to the clear voice he had displayed only minutes ago, was rough and broken.

"Don't go …" Roxas whispered into Axel's black jacket.

Axel twisted in Roxas' grip, so he was facing him. He placed his fingers under the blond's chin, and tilted his face up, so he could gaze into the blue eyes. What he saw there made him wrap his arms around the shorter boy's shoulders. Roxas buried his face in Axel's chest, and Axel rested his chin on the blond's head, squeezing his eyes shut thankfully.

"Axel?" the blond's voice was small, and Axel could barely hear it through the fabric of his hoodie.

"Yeah?"

"I still love you, even though you fucked up so much."

There was a silence after his words, and Roxas looked up, concerned that Axel might have been offended by something he said. His fears were washed away when he saw the redhead's face. Axel's grin was so wide it practically stretched from ear to ear. Roxas gave a small, tentative smile in return.

"Thanks, Roxas," Axel murmured. The redhead closed his eyes again, resting contentedly in Roxas' arms, his own still hugging the blond to him. Roxas pulled back slightly, studying Axel's face. His smile widened as he observed Axel's tearstained, but calm features. Impulsively, he stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips against Axel's. The redhead's green eyes shot open in shock. He peered down at the small blond, who was now flushing furiously, and had his head buried in Axel's chest again.

"Roxas?" Axel asked with some amusement. Roxas shook his head furiously, and muttered an unintelligible answer. Axel grinned again, enjoying the blond's embarrassment. He gripped Roxas' chin, forcing the blond to look at him. "Is this what you want?" Axel asked, and was suddenly unsure and hesitant, afraid of rejection.

"Yes." Roxas said, without hesitation. "I'm sorry for being such a dickhead before. I was just … upset."

"Hey, we both know I deserved it. And not many people are lucky enough to have a second chance. Especially one as good as this." Axel bent down and leaned his forehead against Roxas'. "Thankyou, Roxas." His soft breath fanned against Roxas' face and sent shivers down his spine. Axel closed the distance between them, and captured Roxas' lips in a kiss. Roxas' arms moved from their position around Axel's waist wrap around his neck, his hands fisted in the redhead's wet, spiky hair. Axel held the blond tighter, stroking his back in soothing circles. Their kiss was sweet and chaste – no tongue, no roaming hands. They stood in each other's arms on the cracked gravel of the now-empty car park, oblivious to the rain pouring down around them.

Axel pulled away slightly, bending down, taking Roxas with him, to pick up the rainbow umbrella. Roxas raised an eyebrow at the colour.

"You know, I have one exactly the same."

"Really, Roxie? Funny, I never imagined you to be the type to have one of these …"

"Shut up," Roxas muttered.

"You know," Axel said conversationally, pausing to kiss Roxas again. He continued when they both pulled away, gasping slightly for breath in the humid air. "I hate the fucking rain."

Roxas nodded. "I know. Believe me, I know."

xxxxx

A/N- ack! There's a whole lot of … arghness about this chapter. I mean, I don't think I started off all that bad, but by the end, I'd kinda lost it. I just wanted to put something up, 'cause it's been a little bit too long. I think I most likely will go back and edit the last bit, but until then – this is officially Chapter Six! Thanks for reading!

I was also pretty amazed, because it was 7 whole pages long on Microsoft Word – the most I've ever written. This is almost the end, I think.

Just like always, I love my reviewers, 'cause you're all so wonderful …


	7. Home at Last

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

xxxx

Luxord thought of himself as a fairly flexible man. He had to be, considering what his job was, looking after kids who'd suffered abuse, been disowned or who'd lived on the streets. It wasn't easy to go from that, to living in a proper home, with other people. Luxord understood this. And so he let it slide if one of the kids under his care, in his house happened to be slightly obsessed with sharp things, especially knives, and kept a cache of them under her bed. He also turned a blind eye if one enjoyed playing with electricity, short-circuiting their bedside lamp, and creating an impressive display of sparks. We're still talking about the same girl, by the way. He'd witnessed and instantly put a stop to self-mutilation. His patience with the pink-haired boy who grew flowers in his garden, and then placed them in vases around the house, disregarding the fact that Luxord was in fact, violently allergic to them, was limitless. He had dealt with many instances of suicide and death within his house for underprivileged children. There's only so much that you can do for a kid. They have to make a bit of an effort themselves, and if that doesn't happen … well, all he can do is help the friends of the deceased to continue on with their lives. He had put up with the disturbingly fanatical teenager, who raved about the power of hearts, tolerated many strange obsessions (note said boy who likes hearts, and another kid who was completely and utterly obsessed with the moon – he shaped his life around the moon. Pictures in his room, fours hours of his day designated to watching/and or worshipping the moon…) and had watched many of his charges leave, and begin to live on their own, successfully and happily. He'd also regretted some of the choices he made about his inmates – he still wasn't sure if letting Xaldin loose on the general public was such a good idea. At least nothing had come up in the papers yet … So with his colourful and generally successful history of flexibility behind him, Luxord was a little irritated, but definitely not angry, when one of his charges came back home well after a decent hour. But at the figure that traipsed in behind him, he might as well not have dealt with so many difficult cases, so quickly did his calm and understanding persona snap.

"Get out," he said quietly, his blue eyes blazing with an icy light. He hardly expected the small blond to come to the redhead's defence.

"No, Luxord, please just hear him out, okay?"

In truth, Luxord was shocked that Roxas had spoken more than a few words at a time, and that none of them had been curses. He sighed, his blue eyes not losing their distinct coldness.

"For your sake, Roxas."

Roxas smiled at him, and Luxord was staggered by the change in the blond. Deciding to come back to Roxas' seeming recovery, he turned to Axel.

"Well?"

Axel had been watching both Roxas and Luxord intently, and had come to a conclusion that saddened him. Luxord was obviously shocked at Roxas' words and behaviour, which told Axel something of how the blond had been acting for the past year. He bit his lip, rubbing absently at his spiky hair, gazing around him at the familiar entrance hall. There were a few less jackets hanging on the stand by the door, and the chaos of shoes also seemed slightly less … chaotic. He took in the painted brick walls, shuddering internally, as he used to, at their vivid orange colour. He smiled slightly as he noticed the pot plant in the corner of the room, which seemed to be in the same half dead state it had been a year before, leaves slightly yellowed and wilted, branches drooping. He felt a dread creep through him at the thought of entering further into the house – with all its memories, good and bad. His stomach dropped as he imagined having to walk up the stairs, and past the room he used to share with Xigbar. Oh, Jesus … Taking a deep breath, he looked down at the smaller blond beside him, taking in his weary, sad features, the cerulean blue eyes downcast. Then blue met green, and Roxas' face brightened, the pain lifting from his face as he smiled at Axel.

Axel turned his attention Luxord, who had been studying his former charge with some distaste, noting with disapproval the twin tattoos under his eyes. He swallowed nervously. "Hi, Luxord."

Beside the redhead, Roxas rolled his eyes at his friend's lack of tact. He discreetly elbowed Axel's thin waist.

Axel winced as the blond's sharp elbow jabbed him in the side, but took his point. "I came back to apologise for my actions. Last year … well, it was completely fucked up."

Roxas choked. Luxord raised his blond eyebrows. Axel winced – that wasn't quite what he'd meant to say.

"Uh, what I mean is, I wasn't exactly thinking straight – I mean, Xigbar was my _roommate_ and I'd come home from school, and I go into my room – he hadn't been at school you remember – and well, he was just _hanging _there, and so I guess it's a little understandable that I was upset – and I'm definitely not trying to shift the blame off me. I was wrong to act that way, obviously, but I hope you know that I never would have done something so fuc – so very stupid under normal circumstances. And so I had a really bad year, it was _terrible,_ Luxord, not that your year wasn't worse – well, actually I don't know – that's another thing that I really screwed up, you know, trying to forget everyone by running away. I couldn't take it anymore – the thought of what I did to you. You were my _father_, and I loved you like one. I suppose I still do, think of you as my father, I mean, because you raised me since I was a little kid, and …"

Roxas had a hand against his forehead, and was leaning slightly against the redhead for support. His other hand came up to rub his eyes. He stared up at Axel in reluctant amusement, unaware that Luxord was doing much the same thing, although his amusement was considerably more reluctant that Roxas'.

"Stop," the older blond spoke, raising his eyes to the ceiling, as if asking for patience from a superior being. Axel's mouth shut instantly; suddenly aware of how he'd been babbling. He fought and failed to stop a blush from rising to his cheeks.

"Sorry, Luxord." he muttered.

"He's nervous," Roxas offered in a second apology.

Luxord nodded, closing his eyes. The two younger males stared at him anxiously.

"I'll make it up to you," Axel promised. "Poker – I'll play poker with you. Real money."

Luxord's eyes lit up. "You _do _have money, don't you, Axel?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Excellent. I never seem to be able to find anyone to play against anymore – not with money, anyway. They all claim I cheat …"

Axel and Roxas looked at each other sceptically. Luxord did cheat. Horribly. Roxas smirked at Axel. _You won't have any money left by the end, you dickhead_, Roxas mouthed. Axel nodded sadly in agreement.

"Coffee, anyone?" Luxord said, in a satisfied tone, turning and walking towards the door on the right. Axel and Roxas shared a glance.

"You idiot," Roxas muttered affectionately.

Axel uncharacteristically blushed again. "Shut up."

Roxas wrapped an arm around his waist, grinning, and they followed Luxord into the kitchen. Grinning, Axel breathed in the familiar smell of fresh bread. Aerith had always made the best bread. And cake. Cookies. Pie. Luxord was already at one of the wooden counters, fiddling with the kettle. Axel and Roxas seated themselves at the round, plastic table in the corner of the room. Axel allowed himself again to take in the surroundings – the wooden counters, the spice rack, filled with many exotic spices that Aerith enjoyed, and the vases fresh flowers that decorated almost every surface.

"What's with the flowers?" Axel whispered to Roxas. "I thought Luxord was allergic – like, badly."

Roxas grinned. "Yeah, he is. He's taking some pretty powerful drugs at the moment. Marluxia – he's a new kid – he loves flowers. They're _everywhere_."

Axel blinked for a second, his emerald eyes searching blue, not entirely sure whether to believe him or not. "Right."

The kitchen had been the redhead's favourite room of the house. It was warm, welcoming and was the frequent haunt of the mother of the house – Aerith. The pretty brunette woman had always taken a shine to Axel, and showered him with food at every appearance he made. He smiled, and wondered where she was now.

"Oi, Luxord, where the hell is Aerith?"

Axel was dragged from his reminiscing by a sharp, mocking voice. Luxord stopped pouring the boiling water into three cups, placing the kettle gently back down on its base. "Aerith is out, Larxene."

"Yeah, dipshit, I knew that – I've already searched the bloody house, haven't I? She took my knives, and I want them back."

Axel and Roxas were watching the proceedings with interest. Axel raised an eyebrow at Roxas. _Knives?_ he mouthed. Roxas shrugged. Luxord pinched the bridge of his nose. "She's gone shopping."

Larxene snorted. "What? At 11:30 at night? Isn't that way past mummy's bed time?" She looked like she was about to say more on the subject, but then she noticed the duo sitting at the table; in particular, the fiery redhead. "What the hell?"

"Hey, Larx, you're looking lovely." Axel chirped.

"More than I can say for you, you ugly bastard. What convinced you to drag your sorry ass back here?"

Axel glanced at Roxas. "Emotional reasons – regret, guilt, loneliness … too many to list, I suppose. Not that you'd know anything about stuff like that. You know, actually feeling something."

Larxene gave him the finger, choosing not to retort to his veiled accusation. "Are you retarded? Why'd you put ink in your face?"

"Reasons that involve more emotions. I won't bother explaining it to a heartless bitch like you."

Larxene grinned suddenly, her light blue eyes losing their sharp coldness. She nodded to Roxas, flashing him a smile, which held surprising warmth. Then she turned to Luxord. "When Aerith comes home, you tell her that I want my knives back – every one of them – or I will blow this fucking house up. You know I can do it."

The blond man stared at her for a few seconds. "I'm sure you could, dear," he said, patting her shoulder. He then ruffled her blonde hair, messing up the two antennas that she had gelled up at the front. Larxene scowled and shoved him off.

"You tell her," she said once more, the knife she pulled out from a sheath up her arm, under her black trench coat making the statement much more threatening. Then she turned to Axel. "Hey, anorexic, those tattoos don't look quite deep enough to me. I can fix that for you."

"Uh, they hurt enough the first time, thanks Larxene."

Luxord sighed wearily, reaching out and taking the knife in one quick movement. Then he waved the volatile girl away and returned to pouring the cups of coffee. Larxene shot a venomous glare in his direction and turned on her heel, storming out of the room. Axel and Roxas listened to the sound of her heavy combat boots thumping up the stairs. Then a door slammed, causing Axel to wince. Roxas seemed unperturbed, and a with muttered thanks, received a cup of coffee from Luxord. He then proceeded to gulp the hot drink down, finishing his cup in an astonishingly short time. Axel, with his cup raised to his mouth, had paused to watch Roxas in amazement.

"You all right, Rox?" he asked, slightly afraid of the small blond sitting beside him.

Roxas looked up, surprised. "Yeah, why?"

"Caffeine addiction?" he asked, glancing at Luxord. The blond man sat impassively, slowly sipping his drink. Roxas smacked Axel over the head, Axel narrowly avoiding a close encounter between his lap and his hot drink.

The trio sat in silence for a while, and then Luxord spoke. "What are you going to do now, Axel?"

Roxas glanced up. He hadn't dared to ask the question himself, afraid of hearing the answer. Axel studied his cup of coffee, which was clasped tightly in his pale hands, the heat of the cup apparently not affecting him.

"I – I don't know."

"Will you return to Hollow Bastion?"

Axel hesitated, avoiding both Luxord and Roxas' eyes. "I …"

Roxas stood abruptly. He didn't want to hear anymore. He couldn't hear anymore. He grabbed his empty cup and put it in the sink. "I'm going to bed," he said stiffly, and turned and walked out of the room. Neither Luxord nor Axel moved to stop him. As soon as he was out of the kitchen, Roxas ran. He leapt up the stairs, taking two at a time. When he reached the top he took an abrupt left, quickly moving past Larxene's room, the door painted an ominous black. Next was his room, the door a sunny yellow that had faded slightly over time. He halted outside his door, laying his forehead against the smooth wood. He couldn't understand how Axel could have come back, shown him happiness that he never thought he could have again, and then walk right back out of his life. He slammed one of his fists against the door. Why was it so impossible for him to be happy? He straightened, and stepped slowly to the next door. The fiery red colour of the wooden structure assaulted his eyes, causing tears to spring up. Turning away from the neighbouring room, he shoved open his sickeningly happy door and walked into his room, closing the door behind him. Not sparing his numerous posters and his bookcase a glance, he threw himself onto his bed and buried his head under his red pillow, which matched his blankets.

Biting his lip, he tried to halt the tears that were persistently forming at the corners of his blue eyes. He tasted blood as his teeth bit through the soft flesh of his lips, and the pain distracted him enough for the tears to win the battle and fall from his eyes. Roxas closed his eyes, feeling the dampness soak into the bed. In hindsight, he realised that his exit from the kitchen had been a bit of an overreaction. Axel hadn't answered Luxord's question. He hadn't said that he _would _be returning to Hollow Bastion. But his hesitation to answer had been enough for Roxas. Even if Axel did return to Hollow Bastion, surely he wouldn't mind if Roxas visited him sometimes. It's not like he was going to just disappear again … He lost track of time as he laid there, in the dark, his shoulders shaking with sobs. He was unsurprised when he heard a soft knock at his door. He didn't respond, and after a few seconds the door slowly swung open. The lights came on.

"Roxas?"

Axel frowned in sorrow when he located Roxas lying on his bed, head buried under his pillow, the blond spikes only just visible. "You okay?"

Axel ran a trembling hand through his red hair; aware that behind the left wall was the room he used to share with Xigbar. It wasn't a comforting thought. Returning his attention to the blond on the bed, he hesitantly walked over and sat down beside him, the bed groaning slightly under the extra weight. Tentatively, he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Roxas?" he asked again, flinching as he felt the blond's shoulders shaking. He waited patiently; then not so patiently. "Roxas, what did I _do_? I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Roxas mumbled something into his mattress, and abruptly sat up. His pillow went flying as he wrapped his arms around Axel's waist and sobbed into his chest. Axel's face was twisted into an expression of bewilderment, but he placed his arms around Roxas' shoulders, enveloping the boy in a hug. They sat on the bed in each other's arms in silence as the minutes passed by.

"It's late," Axel murmured finally, reluctant to disturb the silence. Roxas nodded, his movement causing his blond spikes to brush against Axel's chin. He disentangled himself from Axel's arms and removed his shoes. Too tired to change, he pulled back the vibrant red covers from his bed, slipping under. Confused, he searched for his pillow, smiling when Axel grinned and passed it to him from the floor. Axel started to get up to leave, but Roxas grabbed his arm.

"Stay with me?" he asked softly, cerulean eyes pleading.

Axel paused, turning to gaze intently at him. Green met blue, and he nodded. He walked to the door, closing it and turning off the light. Also removing his shoes, he climbed into the bed next to Roxas. The blond immediately curled himself up into Axel. The redhead sighed contentedly, hugging Roxas to him and closing his eyes.

"Luxord offered to let me stay here, while I find an apartment here and move all my stuff," he said softly.

Roxas murmured an agreement sleepily. Then Axel's words hit him. He was suddenly wide awake.

"Y-you're not going back to Hollow Bastion?" he asked in a small voice.

Axel pulled away slightly and turned his head to look at him, his green eyes shining in the darkness. "What? And leave you here? I don't think so, Rox," he laughed softly.

Roxas sighed and closed his eyes, burying his face in Axel's chest. "I – I thought …"

Axel shook his head, holding Roxas tighter. "I'm not leaving you again," he said, and pressed his lips to Roxas' blond spikes.

"Thanks, Axel," Roxas whispered.

Nothing more needed to be said, and they were quiet. The wind and rain outside howled and smashed against the window. Thunder rumbled, causing the house to vibrate with its noise, but the redhead and the blond were oblivious to the sound, sleeping in each other's arms; and they were, for the first time in a year, completely happy.

xxxx

A/N – hooray for the second last chapter! There's an epilogue, and then … ((drumroll)) it's the end!! I wasn't sure whether to use this chapter, or just jump straight to the epilogue, but … I felt that a few things needed to be sorted out and explained moderately. So that's what I tried to do here. ((shrugs)) 'tried' being the key word. Sorry for the wait, too. It just refused to write itself.

Thanks for reading, and to all my reviewers. Umm … replies to anonymous reviewers –

Rikky – Lol, gawrsh, I read back through it, the chapter I mean, and, yeah it's quite shocking actually. ((sighs)) I'm talking about the swearing. Bloody hell … Honestly, I don't swear that much. Hardly at all. I guess … well … maybe I was angry at the time? I can't remember… ((blushes)) not so much swearing in this chapter, right? Err …

Juhi – I really hope you aren't reading this. That's all I can say. Oh, and no, I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. Believe it or not …


	8. Back to the Norm

Disclaimer: ((sobs)) for the eight time … I … don't … own … Kingdom … Hearts.

xxxxx

Roxas' blue eyes shot open at a loud _thud_. Groaning, he closed them again, only to open them again as the banging noise got louder.

"What the fuck …" a voice muttered in his ear, thick with sleep.

Roxas became aware of wiry arms wrapped tight around his body. Completely forgetting the events of the previous day, he panicked. "Gah!" he gasped, leaping up from the bed, tripping over the two pairs of shoes that had been placed next to the bed the night before.

"Roxas?" Axel sat up in bed, his eyes heavy with sleep. Yawning, he ran a hand through his brilliant red spikes, and then flinched as another loud noise came from downstairs.

Roxas giggled weakly from the floor. "Axel. You're here. I forgot …"

Green eyes regarded him with perplexity. "You okay, Rox?"

"Great!" Roxas chirped, picking himself up off the floor, only to stumble again as there was another loud bang from downstairs. Sighing, Axel swung his long legs out of bed, resigning himself to the fact he wasn't going to get another few hours sleep, what with Roxas being slightly delirious due to sleep deprivation, and the infernal noise from downstairs. It must only be five thirty or six in the morning. He glanced over to Roxas' bedside table, and checked the time.

"Oh, my God, please tell me your clock is broken, or _something_," he muttered to the still chortling blond.

"Nope, it's four am in the morning," Roxas grinned cheerfully.

Axel's delicate face scrunched up, and he looked like he was in pain. "Four?" he said faintly, closing his eyes when Roxas gave a happy nod. He fell back, spreadeagled on the bed.

Smiling joyfully, Roxas pulled himself up off the floor for the second time, using the bed for support. Crawling onto the bed, he laid himself on top of Axel, his blond spikes only just tickling the top of the redhead's chin. He buried his hands in Axel's soft hair, and placed his head on the man's chest. Axel sighed contentedly and brought his arms up to wrap across the boy's back. Wriggling, Roxas squirmed his way up until his face was hovering above Axel's, his movements causing the redhead to shudder slightly. The blond's warm breath flowed over Axel's face, and his cerulean blue eyes sparkled. Breathing in deeply, Axel closed his emerald green eyes, and Roxas' face lowered itself to his. Their lips touched with the gentlest of pressure and Roxas sighed into the kiss, his lips parting. Axel, ever a man of the moment, seized the opportunity, and slipped his tongue into Roxas' open mouth. Roxas squeaked in surprise and pulled away, staring down at him in shock, all signs of mirth gone. Axel grinned back up at him, black diamond tattoos contrasting sharply with his pale skin. Roxas' smile returned, responding to Axel's expression. Smirking, Axel tightened his grip on the blond and with immense effort, raised himself into a sitting position. Roxas shifted, so that he was straddling the man's waist. Axel leaned towards the boy, quickly closing the distance between them. This time there was no sign of the gentleness that they had begun with. It was a fierce, passionate battle of tongues, eliciting sharp moans and gasps from both the blond and the redhead.

_Thud!_

Both Axel and Roxas leapt in fright at the noise, jumping apart, sapphire eyes widening in panic as the owner of said eyes fell backwards, off the bed and, again, onto the floor.

"Shit – Roxas, sorry!" Axel gasped, slightly out of breath.

"Fuck it," muttered Roxas, now fully awake, his previous euphoria nowhere in sight.

Axel snorted and levered himself off the bed, stretching out a hand to the boy on the floor. Taking it, Roxas allowed himself to be pulled up. Straightening the clothes that he'd slept in, he thrust his chin high in the air and walked to the door.

"I'll get to the bottom of this," he announced to the redhead who had been watching him with amusement. Said redhead nodded, and followed the shorter blond out the door. Glancing up and down the still dark hallway, Roxas made his way to the stairs, Axel close at his heels. Both flinched as another loud thud echoed through the building.

"How is everyone else sleeping through this?" Axel asked in wonder.

"Heavy sleepers," Roxas said shortly.

At the bottom of the staircase, Roxas took a left, into the lounge room, walking past the decrepit sofas and the cheap TV. A right took them into the entrance hall. Grabbing his jacket off the hanger, Roxas pulled it on. It was cold this early in the morning, and this fact did escape neither Axel nor Roxas. Axel merely pulled his shirt around him tighter, his hoodie lying over the back of Roxas' chair in his room, probably still wet. Opening the door silently, the pair slipped outside, wincing at yet another thump.

"Morning, Roxas," said a voice.

"Hi, Leon," Roxas muttered, a dormant anger in his voice. He was preparing himself to unleash a tirade of curses at the man who he assumed had woken him up, but the man spoke again.

"What – Axel?"

"Yeah, it's me. I'm back from the dead," Axel saluted the tall brunet, grin fading, and quailing slightly under the steely grey stare. He was saved by another male voice.

"Leon! Pass me another nail, will you?"

Roxas' eyes narrowed dangerously, the blue turning icy, stare matching Leon's in intensity. "Leon, pray do tell, exactly _what _are you and Cloud doing here, on this fine morning? _Early _morning, I might add."

The man paused, a bag of nails in his hand. "Cid asked me and Cloud to fix a couple of windowsills that are starting to fall off. This was the only time we were free. Wait –"

The brunet paused the conversation to walk to a ladder leaning up against the side of the large house. Carefully, he began climbing. Craning their necks, Axel and Roxas saw another figure on the ladder, wielding a hammer, his spiky blond hair even more wild than Roxas'. The two watched as the brunet said something to the blond, who then turned his head down to look at them.

"Oh, Roxas. Didn't see you there. Hi, Axel. Haven't seen you here for a while."

Not waiting for an answer, he turned back to the windowsill he was repairing, placing a nail carefully into the wood. Drawing his arm back, he slammed the hammer in to the stick of metal.

_Thud!_

_Thud!_

_Thud!_

"That's it!" Cloud called to Leon, who was now back on the ground. Leon nodded in response, and watched as the blond man climbed down. When he was safely on the ground, Leon, Axel and Roxas walked over to join him. Roxas decided that these two were only the pawns in the plan to ruin a night's sleep, and saved his wrath for the father of his household – Cid.

"So," Leon began. "Axel. What's with this artwork you've injected into your face?"

"Symbolic representation of my inner being," Axel said readily. That was easy enough to answer. He wasn't sure what he'd say to the next question though. It was obvious what it was going to be.

"Where've you been?"

Axel fought back the urge to stare at his feet, instead meeting the grey gaze that was focused upon him. He was also aware of another set of eyes on him; this pair's an abnormally bright blue. "I've been in Hollow Bastion," he said, choosing the easy answer, answering only question, giving out no more.

"Why haven't we heard from you?" the owner of the bright blue eyes questioned, his stare hard.

"I needed some time to clear my head, to make a long story short." To the redhead's surprise, both men accepted this. Instantly, the atmosphere lightened. Axel felt the need for some light-hearted banter. "What's this?" he asked, reaching out for Cloud's face. "Are these bags I see under those beautiful baby eyes? What've you been doing, my beautiful, fluffy, rain cloud?"

The corners of Cloud's mouth turned down, and Leon's twitched upwards. The two shared a long glance, then turned to look back at the grinning redhead.

"Late night," said Leon, not meeting the penetrating green stare.

"Several late nights," Cloud agreed, looking quickly at Leon and then shifting his eyes away.

Axel raised his thin red eyebrows suggestively, leering at the two of them. He opened his mouth, a mischievous gleam in his shining eyes, then shut it again as a sharp elbow came into contact with his side.

"Shut up," Roxas hissed, blushing furiously. "For those of us who aren't perverted, we don't _want _to hear about other people's sex lives."

Leon and Cloud glanced at each other, obviously enjoying the situation, then turned to watch the younger two in front of them. "Say, Roxas," Leon said dryly. "What about you? Are those bags I see under those pretty ocean blues? I hate to remind you, but you aren't legal yet, jailbait."

Axel's mouth fell open, and he stared at the brunet. "Y – you aren't supposed to say things like that. Y – you …"

"Shut up, cradle robber," Cloud muttered.

Axel stared hopelessly at the two, his slender brows furrowed in turmoil. Roxas, meanwhile, had been growing steadily redder at the implications being thrown about, left, right and centre.

"S – stop!" he stuttered, hands covering his ears.

The other three stared at him, turned their gazes to each other, then returned their eyes to the bright red, stuttering blond in front of them.

"Jailbait," they all agreed.

xxxxx

Billy sat on the bench, in the same position he'd first seen Axel in. His feet didn't quite reach the ground and he swung his legs back and forth as he waited for his mother to pick up the steaks she'd ordered specially a few days previously. His blue cardigan was rolled up to his elbows, and his black hair was wildly tousled. Violet eyes shining, he gazed up at the sky, revelling at the sight of the blue sky, which hadn't shown its face for a while.

At the sound of the automatic doors sliding open, he turned his head to see if it was his mother. His small face was suddenly lit up with a brilliant grin. He leapt off the bench, brushing down his jean clad legs, and, stumbling slightly, he ran over to where a blond and a redhead had just exited the store.

"Axel! Roxas!" he called.

The pair, who both had their arms wrapped around each other, grinned.

"Hey, it's my favourite little kid!" Axel said, and then at Billy's suddenly frightening glare, "Billy. It's Billy."

"Yeah!" Billy said, suddenly happy again. "See, Roxas? I told you it was a good idea!"

"What?" the redhead turned to look at the blond standing next to him. "You know Billy?"

Roxas nodded. "He attacked me with his football in a park."

Axel laughed, and Billy joined in, his laughter chiming like bells. Roxas' lips tilted in a grudging smile.

"So what are you two gonna do?" the irrepressible boy asked, rocking on the balls of his feet, unable to stay still.

"I'm moving back here, buying an apartment. Roxas'll move in when he turns eighteen."

"Sweet!" Billy giggled. "I knew it'd work out." he switched his gaze to Roxas. "Roxas, I know you like to mope, but if you're ever sad, here's my number."

The blond stared at the little boy, not sure whether he was joking. Hesitantly, he reached out and took the scrap of paper the violet-eyed boy had just scribbled on.

"Thanks …" he muttered.

Billy nodded. He opened his mouth to say more, but a woman's voice rang out.

"Billy!"

Turning Billy waved. "Be there in a sec, mum!"

But Billy's mother had dropped her shopping bag, filled with steak, and had dashed over to Billy's side. "You again!" she hissed at Roxas. "What is your obsession with my son?" she demanded. "This is the _second _time I've seen you, watching him with that predatory stare."

"No – mum, Roxas is my _friend._" Billy's violet eyes were wide with anxiety, scared that she was going to hurt Roxas.

"That's what he wants you to think, sweetheart." her softened gaze hardened again as she stared at Roxas again. "If you come near my son again, I'm calling the police. I don't want to see you again, fag."

With that insult as her parting comment, the woman grabbed her son's arm and dragged him away, picking up her shopping bag way.

"Sorry, Roxas! Axel!" Billy called over his shoulder. "I'll explain to her, honest!"

"Quiet, Billy," his mother hissed angrily. "Don't talk to them. I don't want you being influenced."

Wide eyed, Axel and Roxas raised a hand in farewell to the bouncing ball of delight that was being dragged away by his prejudiced mother. Shaking his head, Axel turned to Roxas.

"The prejudice in today's society … unbelievable …"

Roxas nodded in agreement. His blue eyes stared after the mother and son that were getting into their car. The woman's vicious glare made him cringe, even from fifty metres away. "This is the sort of conflict that can only be overcome by the strength of family and friendship."

Axel stared at him, head slightly tilted to the side, green eyes questioning. "Got no folks to speak of so, Rox," he said.

Roxas nodded sagely. "That's when we turn to friendship."

"Friendship with benefits," Axel said, improving the blond's sentence.

Roxas grinned in response. "She's still staring at us," he muttered, gesturing at the woman glaring at them from behind the car windscreen. Billy sat next to her, grinning goofily and waving at them. His mother reached over and stilled his arm. Axel and Roxas waved back. The car pulled hurriedly away from the parking space, and sped out of the car park.

Still smiling, Axel and Roxas re-entered the supermarket, resuming what they had been doing before they sighted Billy from the window.

"How many?" Roxas asked Axel, half joking.

Axel placed his chin in his fingers. This was no easy decision. "Oh … eight?"

"You sure?"

"You're right. Ten sounds more reasonable."

"Idiot." Roxas said, and then turned to the man behind the ice-cream counter. "Two sea-salt ice-creams, thanks."

After receiving and paying for their ice cream, the redhead and the blond exited the supermarket. During the time they'd taken debating over the necessary amount of ice cream, the sky had darkened considerably. It was unfortunate, that at the exact moment the pair walked out from under the cover, it began to bucket down with rain.

"Fuck," Axel cursed. Roxas rolled his big blue eyes in exasperation.

"Are you joking?" he shouted at the sky. The only response was the slight increase in the downpour. Chastened, the blond viciously bit down on his blue ice cream. "What do you think, Axel? Do we run for it? We're not that far from home."

"Yeah, we'll only _just _get completely soaked."

"Exactly."

Axel fingered his ice cream, and then shoved the whole thing in his mouth. "Wight." he said through a mouthful of ice cream. "We wun fow i', okay?"

Roxas sighed in agreement, regretfully speeding up his consumption of his delicious delicacy. The rain didn't look like it was going to stop any time soon.

"You know what I really hate?" he said to Axel.

The redhead looked at him, jade eyes bright in the shadowed overhang of the roof. "The fucking rain?" he asked.

"Yeah." Roxas answered, and took off running, his blond hair instantly flattening in the downpour. Axel cursed and ran after him, shouting obscenities at the blond, chasing his best friend, and love, into the pouring rain.

xxxxx

A/N- lol, I sort of struggled along there at the end, writing whatever was in my head until it seemed like an adequate ending. Was that adequate? You know what? Don't answer that …

THE END!

How … how bittersweet … ((tear)) It was a whole lot of fun. Maybe I'll write another one. :D who knows? Not me, that's for sure.

As for Cloud and Leon being in there, well, it was … sort of requested. Sort of. And … well, she's so great I just couldn't say no. Not sure I did them justice, but, hey, I tried.

Thanks for reading, and thank you so much to all who've reviewed – you guys are the best and I love you all.


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